There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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