11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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