whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
