Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
