He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
