Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
