ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
