apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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