Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
