You work out of a Hotel?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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