I want to make a zoo with you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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