Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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