Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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