Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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