Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize