then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
