I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
