I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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