i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
