I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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