Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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