it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
