i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
