Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
