i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I wear drunk well.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
