I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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