Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
