I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize