i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
3 2 1 whiskey
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
