there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
