Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
