I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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