Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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