my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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