dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize