we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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