Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
