My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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