when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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