Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
