I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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