It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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