I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
