yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
