I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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