he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
