She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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