My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
