help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
