Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
