i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
