So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
