Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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