I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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