The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
