he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
