I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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