i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
