you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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