Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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