im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
