My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
