I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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