Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
