Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize