If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it because I queefed?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
