We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
