he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
