and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Randomize
