Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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