I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
